What are dreams & should we take them seriously?

How can understanding dreams help us 'dream better'

Mar 07, 2021

Hey guys,

I hope you had a great week.

Thanks for all your well wishes last week. It was a fun first week on my new path. Excited about the continued impact that is to come.

We also hit 200 subscribers this week! Thanks for spending your precious time reading the thoughts in this little boy’s head and for sharing your own insights as well.

A reader (Sam) suggested I experiment with something which I’m happy to start this week. Most of the musings I write are based on thoughts that I write down in my day to day life.

You might also have thoughts you’ll like me to explore in these letters. If you do, you can now share them with me in this Google Form. If I find it interesting, I’ll write about it in a future letter and likely credit you for some of the inspiration.

As always, stay curious and jiggy!

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Listen to the audio version here

I find myself in a dark hallway. I know I'm not supposed to be here but I'm curious about this large basement. I see weird shapes and keep walking in search of something that'll pique my curiosity.

All of a sudden, I hear a loud voice: What are you doing here??

Before I can pull myself together, the security guard starts shooting at me. I start making my way back to the door from which I came, dodging bullets as I run.

When I'm about 10 meters away from the door, the security guard changes tactics. Realizing that his bullets aren't working, he pulls out a sharp disc and throws it in my direction. Remembering my Jackie Chan moves, I flip and luckily avoid it. I increase my pace and eventually open the door before he's able to throw another disc. I escaped death.

I find myself in a classroom with my fellow students. The security guard comes into the room and I call on my lecturer as well. I am very angry and ask him to provide a reason for shooting at me and trying to kill me. Even if I was in a restricted area, was violence the only method he could choose?

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This was the last thing I remembered. 10 minutes after waking up from this sleep, I was still angry at the unknown security guard in my dream :). This is what I can remember from my dream last Tuesday morning.

It had been a while since I carried my feeling from a dream into my waking state. This encounter brought back my interest in learning more about dreams. I have friends who get worried when they have nightmares or dreams where something bad happens to a loved one or to themselves. So I set forth to learn more about dreams.

My favourite definition of a dream is: A unique state of consciousness that incorporates experiences of the present, processing of the past, and preparation for the future.

Dreams typically occur in stage 5 of sleep which is also known as REM (rapid eye movement) sleep. This stage accounts for about 20% of total sleep time. Stages 1 & 2 are light/early sleep stages representing about 50-60% of sleep time. Deep sleep happens in Stage 3 and 4 and you'll feel very fuzzy if waken up during this stage. These stages account for about 20% of total sleep time.

During REM sleep, there is rapid eye movement, breathing becomes more rapid, irregular and shallow. Interestingly, our limb muscles become temporarily paralysed in this state to avoid us from acting out our dreams (imagine if we acted out our dreams each night, there'll be so many injuries).

I've always wondered how much 'control' we have over our dreams. How much of our dreams are influenced by actions that happen during our day and our worries/fears. In my personal experience, my dreams usually fall into the following categories;

Dreams about my fears (falling, snakes, getting killed, being chased etc)
Dreams about my desires (getting married, sexual fantasies, travelling etc)
Dreams about suppressed thoughts/feelings (Someone I'm angry about, etc)

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Most humans dream above negative things than they do about positive things. According to research, 65% of our dreams are related to events that occur in our waking lives. If you have certain thoughts before going to bed, you are more likely to dream about something related to those thoughts.

Have you ever asked someone if they dream often and their answer is No? This is because about 95% of all dreams are forgotten when we wake up. Everyone dreams but some people remember their dreams more than others.

Across the world, the origin of dreams is not known to scientists or spiritual leaders. A lot of research has been done and data has been collected but because of the individual nature of dreams, nothing is universal. Here are however some possible explanations for dreams, according to Medical News Today;

Representing unconscious desires and wishes.
Interpreting random signals from the brain and body during sleep.
Consolidating and processing information gathered during the day.
Working as a form of psychotherapy

So let's explore some of the frequent questions that come to mind about dreams;

Can I experience things that happen in real life in my dreams?

Most of our dreams are fragments of our waking experiences. Our brain creates scenarios that use both visuals we can recognize and those we can't. I often find it hard to remember the 'structure/environment' of my dreams.

There are however some dreams called 'episodic dreams'. In these dreams, you can experience a full experience of your past or memory. E.g, having a conversation or doing something specific. This is very rare though and happens only about 2% of the time.

Why do I have more negative dreams than positive ones?

We've all had those nights when your loved one tells you to dream about them before you head to bed.

But in your dream, what you experience is an action movie with someone chasing you or falling to your death, lol. Definitely not the kind of dream your loved one expected. You shouldn't be worried though. Negative dreams are more prevalent than positive ones.

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There are different reasons for this. One that I found interesting is that our dreams can be used to prepare us physically for future threat instances. Dreams of children living in war torn areas were analysed in comparison to childer in war-free areas. The former have more negative dreams than the latter. Perhaps, their brain was preparing them for potentially combative situations.

Why do I remember some dreams more than others?

There is no exact answer to this. There are however two types of dreams that you're more likely to remember more than others;

Vivid dreams; When you wake up from these dreams, you can remember some part of the dream very clearly and can still feel the emotions. My dream with the security guy was likely a vivid dream.
Lucid dreams; These are dreams where you are aware that you're dreaming. They are not common but everyone has a lucid dream at least once in their lifetime.
I think I've had quite a number of these in the past. Particularly in dreams that are supposed to end with my death. In the closing moments of the dream, I realize that it's a dream and I shouldn't be concerned. Some people believe they can control their dreams when they're lucid dreaming.

Should I be concerned about nightmares?

I'm not sure that we should. There was a time when I always dreamt of fighting snakes. They'll swarm the entire compound and I'll have to use a mix of machetes, grenades and all kinds of stunts to kill them, lol.

Our nightmares can be caused by different things like; Stress, Fear, Trauma, Emotional difficulties or Illness, Use of certain medications/drugs.

Knowing that our thoughts affect our dreams, we can try to think of more positive things during our waking lives to reduce nightmares. The interesting twist is that suppressing thoughts can also lead to you dreaming more about those suppressed thoughts.

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Sigmund Frued, who is the founder of psychoanalysis and a thought leader on interpretations of dreams once said;

"Everyone has wishes which he would not like to tell to others, which he does not want to admit even to himself.” "We are what we are because we have been what we have been.” “The dream is the (disguised) fulfilment of a (suppressed, repressed) wish.

I personally believe you can reduce your nightmares by reducing stress, worry and being more optimistic.

Can my environment affect my dreams?

Research has shown that external stimuli can affect our dreams. People who had roses placed towards their nose when sleeping reported positive dreams. Those who had rotten eggs placed close to them reported more negative dreams.

So I guess you should buy roses and spray scented smells before you sleep :). Please note this method is not proven to work for everyone.

Now to the BIG ONE …

Can my dreams predict the future?

In scientific terms, the concept of knowing about the future beforehand is called precognition. Many people believe that dreams that you remember vividly predict the future. Especially if they occur in a similar form often. As you can imagine, there are a lot of sceptics about this. I think I'm closer to the sceptic side of the scale.

Some people insist that their dreams have come to pass many times. There is no scientific proof for this. One of the most interesting explanations for this phenomenon that I came across was this statement by clinical psychologist Dr. John Mayer;

"The thoughts and images of our dreams are made up of data that has been gathered by our waking perception and stored in our memory. When dreams appear to predict the future, it is because the dreams are analyzing these facts and making 'educated guesses' about upcoming life events."

Professionals have also found that people who pay more attention to their dreams are the ones that find them more predictive. They say that if you analysed each dream very well, you can tie it to a future event in one way or the other.

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Reflecting on this, since our dreams are often about our fears. It is very possible that our dreams can sometimes be made up of things we've thought about in our waking lives based on data and previous experiences. Hence, when an event occurs that matches that dream, it could just be our fears coming to pass. This happens for both dreams or other non-dream thoughts that we have in our waking lives.

There are however many people who believe that dreams are spiritual and should always be taken seriously. I'm very curious about this and will be happy to hear about instances where you've dreamt about something and it came to pass.

Overall, I think dreaming is an interesting phenomenon that exemplifies the beauty of God and the human mind. The fact that something so vivid can take place without us doing so actively is awe-inspiring for me.

Learning more about this musing helped me understand that remembering some dreams more than others doesn't necessarily mean one has some hierarchy over the other. It also helped me realize that I shouldn't be worried about negative dreams that I have since it's something that all human experience.

I don't know if I'll be able to predict the future from some of my dreams but I'm not so crazy about predicting the future. I want to experience it and not design it to suit my taste. I hope this piece helped you to understand your dreams a little better as well.

I'll leave you with this quote by Sigmund Freud;

"If we subject the content of the dream to analysis, we become aware that the dream fear is no more justified by the dream content than the fear in a phobia is justified by the idea upon which the phobia depends.”

Musing in Your Head

What do you think about dreams? What are some of your learnings/insights about dreams? Have you had dreams that predicted the future before and do you think dreams are spiritual?

Happy to hear your thoughts in the comments section or as a response to this letter wherever you spot it.

Dive Deeper

Facts about dreams by VeryWellMind
What does it mean when we dream by Medical News Today.
What is Dreaming and What does it tell us about Memory by ScientificAmerican.

Written with love and curiosity,

Francis.

Musings in My Head [MIMH]

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